Do you ever get tired of feeling everything so deeply, of endlessly worrying about every little thing?
It gets exhausting to think about everything so deeply; to think through our actions, past, present, and future, so thoroughly. To get so greatly caught up in feeling that you forget to keep living.
I look at others with envy; I look at those who live freely with envy.
You live your life with an invisible snake constricting your body and silencing your mouth. Worry follows you around like a shadow. Worry is your constant companion.
You hopelessly seek a sense of value from the world and from the people and things around you.
You seek value from test grades. My goodness, if you score anything below an A you feel worthless. To you, that B means disappointment to your parents. How could they ever be proud of you?
You put endless amounts of pressure on yourself to achieve, even if this means putting your own health, mentally and physically, at risk.
You set your mind into an endless state of debilitating worry. It doesn’t matter if your body turns on the emergency breaks; you are going to keep pushing that gas pedal until you’re completely broken.
You will keep worrying until you succeed; however, you will never allow yourself to accept success because you always believe you can do better.
You seek value from people. Oh man, if someone would just recognize you and how hard you are trying. If someone would just appreciate or acknowledge you, you’d stop constantly worrying about how to be better.
We seek value from these things because we are afraid of failure. We are worried that if we fail we might lose love. We might lose respect. We might disappoint.
Anxiety stems from a fear of failure. We are so afraid to fail that our body responds by putting us in a constant state of unease; a sense that nothing is ok and everything depends on your success. Success in school. Success in relationships. Success professionally. Success in life.
However, the thing I want you to know is that anxiety is of this world; it is not from God. God never wanted us to constantly worry about the things of this world. He wants us to have faith. Faith in his plan and faith in who we are because of him. We do not need to impress this world. We do not need to make this world proud. The only one we should strive to impress is God. And the beautiful thing is he loves us beyond our own comprehension already.
“And why are you anxious? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin.” They do not worry about how they will grow nor compare themselves to other flowers, yet God still cares for them. “Therefore, do not be anxious. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Mathew 6:28-32