Why do you feel the need to put on a brave face when on the inside you are screaming out for help?
Inside you are fighting an ongoing battle with anxiety and stress. The uncertainty of you future and the discontent with your current circumstances are aggressively taking their toll.
Endless changes are taking place around you; you feel like you have no control. Worst of all, you feel like you are failing those you love because though your body may be physically present, your mind is not. Your mind is far away, lost in the vast sea of your emotions.
You become frustrated with your own emotions. You become angry at the power they have over you and your happiness. Your emotions tear you down with no regard to your permission. Your emotions convince you that seeking help is out of the question. They tell you that others are going through worse things. They tell you that you are selfish for feeling the way you are feeling. You become a prisoner locked within your own mind.
You tell yourself that no one will be able to understand what you are going through. “They just won’t get it,” you repeat in your head. It is you and only you; you are in this alone. Good luck finding the light, cause even if you find your way to the switch, your mind has cut off the power supply.
You are constantly fighting a battle within yourself. It is a private battle that you keep hidden from the world. On the outside you put on a great façade. You fool others with your fake smile and the meaningless words “I’m ok.” You put on a brave face as to not let others know that on the inside you are sad and burnt out. You fool others by showing a highlight reel on social media to convince others that your life is great.
You can’t let others know that on the inside you are crying for help.
It saddens me that people feel as though they can’t talk about how they are truly feeling. It saddens me that people feel that talking about mental wellness is not socially acceptable because of the negative stigma that surrounds it. But what saddens me most of all is that people feel they have to battle it alone.
I think that the greatest fear you have revolves around what others will think of you if you admit how you are truly feeling. You are afraid of what others might say. I know for me the most common responses have been: “oh you are being overdramatic” or “you are a product of your generation.” How sad is that?
Yes this generation is different. You live in an age where social media rules your life. Your life is on display for all to see. And as a result, comparison runs rapid. Not only that, schooling is longer and harder. More expectations are placed on you. You are expected to succeed because you have a greater advantage with the technology/information that is readily available at your fingertips.
But I am here to say that that is not true. You are perfectly valid in how you are feeling. Stop comparing your current situation to that of others. Stop trying to convince yourself that your current circumstances are insignificant and your feelings are invalid.
You know your mind and your body. You know when things aren’t right. So seek the help you need. You are not alone in this. If you take away one message from this I want it to be that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You do not have to keep putting on that brave face. You are killing yourself internally. You are losing who you truly are. You need to stop letting yourself down. Stop worrying about showing up for others and show up for yourself. Only when that relationship is healthy can you truly start to live the life you were meant to live. Only when your mentally well can you truly show up for others the way God intended you to.
God never wanted you to fight these battles alone. He is always there for you. He gave you family and friends to support you. You are not alone.
It is ok to not be ok. Please remember that, it is ok to not be ok. But you have to be strong enough to seek the help you need. So go ahead, start talking about how you are feeling and stop worrying about what others will think of you; you will be shocked at how liberating it is to be honest 🙂